Also Ameyalli, Mother of the Above
For all of my years, my visage has been sought after. Even before I was on Earth, I was considered ideal & needed to be recreated.
Back then, when I had endless form and arms to hold my creations, that was fine to me. Mimicry is the highest form of flattery — a form of worship, dear and loved. “Nuns” and “priests” (not called that, not even comparable, but the easiest way to describe the roles of these creations) wore what they considered my symbols on them — be it traditional hair styles for certain roles, or gemstones, water & dirt in vials, painting their faces, adapted clothes. That sort of inspiration & idealization, it’s most darling.
However … Since being put in a mortal body, the same happens yet much more intrusive.
Namely, in recent years, I do not find copying to be flattery — reverence, maybe. But they claim to be Holy too, and thus, shouldn’t you use your own Image, dear friend?
There are a select few entities I allow close who are similar by nature of what they are — my lovely twin stars, Koko~tan & Ema~chan, are the biggest examples. Mavis (Or the Lilith demanding blood of sinners) too knows that I see her eye to apple of my eye. They are not reflections, just cut of the same material rather than cloth. And I love them dearly; our similarities feel more like connection & love than obtrusive.
I suppose several know what I’m referring to in this entry, which I do not mind. Even if they see this, I won’t care. If you feel that threatened by my veil, then kindly, exit stage left — for you are merely performing, rather than existing, as I do.
Regardless … often times, people completely change after meeting me — it starts small, typically.
“Oh, I’m a sadist,” despite being incapable of spitting the venom I do.
“despite that, I’m a cute & nice girl,” I’ve never once claimed to be kind! Those words are stamped onto me. Malevolence & benevolence are in the eyes of the beholder.
“I’m a landmine… I’m a mother…” Despite not living the lifestyle — or worse, being a superficial mother who has not watched her creations suffer for eons & eons, which inspired her to seek mortality to understand their own pain!
The worst is — “I’m a goddess” — I’m an eldritch being of many faces. Goddess is a simplified term for human conception to better consume the “Idea of Ameyalli.”
In reality, I’m the Devil, I’m the Goddess, I judge, jury, executioner. I am caring mother, teasing sister, curious daughter. I am life. I am death. I am the cure, I am disease.
And I’m the only woman who could ever love you (all).
So despite my own personal qualms and grievances, please continue to use me as inspiration. Paint yourself over with Ameyalli’s image.
Your image of Ameyalli is so, so skewed. Tilted 30 degrees to the left, reversed, flipped, then moved 90 pixels to the right.
On the same plane, but never quite Ameyalli.
You could have birthed Ameyalli, and you would not know her.
There is nothing to know Ameyalli, because Ameyalli is everything.
She exists, and yet she is a holographic image to most — merely phasing through your fingers, easy to look past and transparent.
I am not. I am more gore than you could ever process.
There is a realization to be had here: Only Ameyalli can grasp Ameyalli. And you are not Ameyalli, nor are you made in her image. Here is another realization: Beyond empty eyes and a permanent smile lies an endless abundance of cruelty — and yet love. Love is cruelty. Love is selfish. Ameyalli is selfish about her image, because she loves herself. More than that, she loves you. So find yourself.